PLEASE READ THESE TERMS: Sunday, June 19, 2005Y
10:39 AM
Hmm...long time nv write le...coz of lots of prac for our remix comp..which is todae... and omg... WE got in!! din noe we could...but...hehehe....yay!! den muz learn BAD's cheoro...diff sia...teach so fast...and de style...haha...totally diff form wad we're doin now...but its interesting...learn new styles...haha reminded me of my first Ooh La La comp...exactly same style...haha..haiz...kinda sad also la...last nite slept at 4am...was tokin to sk...juz brought up some matters...like de tones n way he toks to me...hai...but i think its not gonna change..haiz..i also dunno wad to say.... i feel like something is missing in our relationship... maybe i love him more den he loves me...dat y i feel dat maybe i'm not getting enuff attention from him..sometimes dun really feel dat de stuff he does comes from his heart..juz for de ske of doin...
hai...sometimes i do wish we wuld send me home...ask me how i am...massage me wen my back hurts...help me carry my bag wen my shoulder hurts...look me in de eye and say those romantic stuff..haha...or better yet..spend some quality time wif me... without saying.."but here got nthing to shop lei.." hmm..cant we juz walk ard...and not matter bout anything but each others presence?...hai... i dun understand him anymore... sometimes...really wanna cry...coz sometimes...u're juz waiting for him to do something but he nv does it...and u juz keep waiting..... and sometimes really hurt by de words he say...like "y cant u do dis??!?!" "HOw come u muz do dis" "Y muz u EAt??" well..I'M HUNGRIE!!! Duh!! "Y CaN't u Eat later?" or "u juz ate!!! ( a few hours ago)" hai.......cant he juz tok to me nicely?? like how he does wif his frens?? i really envy dem...
everytime he says such hurting stuff i wuld juz turn away...and wipe de tears off my face.and smile..musnt let anione see...sometimes things may seem ok...but actually...its not ok....de love is juz not there anymore...i want it back...from him... i juz dun feel it.....sad to say.....
nowadays we hardly tok long on de fone anymore...he's always tired wen he calls me...i mean..y cant he juz sacrifise his game time n tok to me...or something...its like he hardly ever sacrifise for me...he rather do something else den do something dat includes me...hai........
i think i'll juz go on and ignore all de bad stuff....smile and hopefully i will b happier ba... cry behind close doors ...will nv let him noe...dun wan him to b in an awkward position....to an wei wo...
but really...every gal hopes... hopes dere will b a guy she loves who can take care of her and not the other way round...
i mean...if u love someone u wuld wanna do stuff for dat persn rite?? well... i dun see anything much being done... not even a simple long hug and dun let go.. i used to get...
sobz.....
crys......
sniff......
any way..i sould be thankful le la..at least i get to see him...some ppl dun even get to see de person she loves as and wen she wans....
:)
but really...i do envy other couples who look so loving together.....
:)
competition finals is in july...school starting le..hopefully i still have time ba...
scared...
i wan someone who can always stand by me wen i'm sad...be there always we i need him..hold me up wen i fall...
