PLEASE READ THESE TERMS: Friday, July 29, 2005Y
10:03 AM
This few dance feel really worn out...mentally n physically...hai...yesterday....morning wen for SnW dance class at 8am..lol..den after dat went for class......den fell asleep a few times in class..my fren poked me n i screamed...embarasssed sia... den after class went bugis to but our costumes...in de end end up buying lots of stuff...i think i spend ard 70 bucks...hai yo...feeel so poor..sniff...
todae had dance...at first was fine de...den after dinner...hmm..some how everyone looked really sad...sniff... felt depressing also... coz i think we were demorilze... yea... now i'm so tired... i was supposed to do my project...individual de..i need to pass!!! or i'll fail my module...die...its due soon... and sop are my 4 other projects... all due in august... Suntec is in Aug!!! omg... so many stuff in aug man.... hai...so dead sia....
everytime i dance i think of my projects...den i sianz diao...legs feel so suan... den come home..i will juz K.O...no time to do proj le...
so dead.....
Sunday, July 24, 2005Y
9:02 AM
Dunno WAd to say...but...Left out....
but glad... There are still ppl ard to make me happie..
=)
Thankx sis n all my frens~~~
Thursday, July 21, 2005Y
9:40 AM
Todae so tired!! omg!!!! mornin class... den after dat rush to shang grila for rehersal... omg!! de guy sang phantom of de opera so Wonderfully!! i tot was radio sia!!den after dat carry super heavy bag...go town...get costumes..shoulders almost broke...super tired sia!! omg..my eyes can bearly open.... after town..went bk to school for dance prac... omg!!! REmix comin soon!! oomg!! panic!!! not ready sia..a few days nv dance le...almost forget steps sia...dieeee.....we need more prac...todae's prac only a few of us...i dance wif my eyes close...haha..seriously cannot open....zzzz..
i go slp le...
CMI....Cannot Make IT le... haha,,,
zzzzzzzzzzzzz
*gones to dream land*
Tuesday, July 19, 2005Y
8:38 AM
Todae was really bad sia...i tot i was late...coz meeting my frens at 1230 for lunch and to sign up for de workshop...late le...so i took cab instead...$8...hai... den wen i reach dere...my frens haven reach yet....so i went to sign up for de workshop first.... den de lady told me...no more slots!!!!!!! OMG!! full house... i need de workshop!!!! how am i gonna pass my module!!!!! ARRR!!! freak..de lady yesterday said i can come bk todae ma..coz..yest no more form le...den she said todae lor...den de lady todae said..i should haf paid first yesterday...WT!!!she said need form ma!!! !!ARRGGHH!! dunno la... damn pissed.. den "HE" asked me out todae ask me accompany him go buy stuff..den i told him i not free coz of de workshop...den i called him up after de lady said no space...who noes!!! he oredi called his fren to go wif him...den i sian diao... he said his fren haven confirm wif him yet...so i went to hang ard in school for abt half an hr plus..den i called him bk..coz i really boreed to death le..den he said he goin wif his fren..i mean if fren oredi confirm..juz call me n tell me la... so i no need to wait ma... haiz..... very sad lor.... lucky jolene was free...so i went j8 wait for her...den we hung out there till dance class...
dance ar...omg...i think NRA anyone can dance better den de seniors there... too bad ryan went LA... anothwer teacher came and taught us...she very pretty..too bad not hiphop...it was ermm..mtv jam...lol...dunno wad was dat..den there was this irritating person...lol...reminds me of someone...lol..omg.... kept correcting us sia...think he like some pro lor...lol... he smells funnie... haha... =x
after dat took cab down to church...learnt bout interesting stuff todae...
learnt bout other gods... merci...compassion.... got lots of nice pics...
learnt dis "do NOT do unto others as you would not have them do unto you." "Do unto others as you WOULD HAVE them do unto you."
P.S Thankx for cheering me up and sending me cute pics!
Monday, July 18, 2005Y
8:19 AM
*You are all that I needThe only treasure I see
You're the air that helps me breathe
through the darkest night
When I fall down on my knees
I was blind but now I see
You are all that I need*
When no one far from perfect
Like a child that needs a guiding hand
Can you stay here with me
I finally understand
You've always been the missing part
Complete the jigsaw puzzle of my heart
Please hear me when i say
Please let me hear your voice again
Let me hear you say your love will never end
That whatever it takes you'll be there
When I say
Thursday, July 14, 2005Y
7:46 AM
yawn...todae couldnt wake up.....last nite got some dream...dreamt dat i was at de beach(east coast park) sitting on some bench...de feelin was dat i din wanna go anywhere...i could juz sit dere for Hours...lol..was kinda like a sad feelin instead of happie n calm...lol...
todae got RTHK dance...Yawnz...really tired...dance n dance n dance... my shoulder really really hurts...and at de end of de day...my back hurted lots too.... hai..muz b my stupid back..so heavy... at first todae i was kinda happie de...until dance 1 more time before de break...i accidentally knocked into someone...den i was trying to annalyse how it happened...maybe i was doin de wrong thing or wad..but i annalyse le..tried it out a few more times...den dat someone tried askin me to do something.. to me it sounded like askin me to change my hand's position...which makes it diff from my fren...den dat person sounded really fustrated wen i tried to say it was diff...den dat person kept explaining stuff..i really dun understand... den dat person said "ARGH! blah blah blah" den stomped off to de chair behind n looked super angry, pissed off...den felt so sad lor.... i totally dunno wad was i did wrong...cant u explain nicely and slowly....dunno y now adays dat person keep getting pissed of at me for small little reasons...
no one really noes dis..but i get really Tramautised wen someone so close to me keeps getting angry for small reasons... it brings back old old memories..... SCary memories....
well...at least dat person appologised to me on de bus home...i think coz dat person saw me really sad ba...its always like dat wan... 1 small little sorry can make me forget everthing.... hai...
*slaps myself* CANNOT XING RUAN SO EASILY!!!!!
todae din get to see kitty...neighbour took it home... sadded... i miss my kitty....
always looking so cute...always climbing on my lap and snuggling up in it...
dat is some kinda love dat i really like alot...
dis bunny needs lots of cuddles, little squshy hugs, Lots of CAre and concern... and mostly longing for someone to pamper her...hehe
*Dreamz*
Sunday, July 10, 2005Y
8:38 AM
Todae i was abt to go out..i saw dis small little kitty at de bus stop...omg...it was sooo cute!!! somemore abt to rain le..i bu heng xin leave him dere...so i carried him in my bad and brought him home..actually outside my home..haha... mommy will kill me sia...den i put it in a shoe box and gave it some milk and water...and got some fish fillet for him.... left him in de box at de stairs..hopefully he stays well..his eyes seemed swollen n watery...maybe scared until cry too much ba....tml mornin b4 school i better check on him...hmmm...dancce is alrite...very tiring but i like it coz...it'll help me Lose my FAts!! and help me improve on my dance technics..but sometimes...really afraid i'll let my grp dwn...coz my mom does not approve of me dancing..i only can dance once a week...which is wed...so de rest of de days will haf to lie to her...hai... hate it sia..den somemore..wen eva i come home she'll scold me non stop..i nv even ding zui...she can tok for hours de...serious!!! i cant be bothered to reply...dunno wad to tell her dis sat goin for remix...hai....
MY LOVE LIFE.....dunno wad to say.... we juz dun communicate well.... we dun haf those lovy dovey talks anymore...until i cant really rem wad it felt like.. all we tok abt is wad normal frens wuld tok abt.... now...things haf really changed...wen eva he's fustrated wif me or wad...he'll use "DAT" funnie fierce percing tone to me.. i HATE it to de core!! i really dun feel it anymore...dun feel de care n concern anyone in love wuld gif... now its getting worse...i'm afraid... afraid...it comes to a point where i wuld really grow tired...... coz i know i love him too much le...dat i zai yi alot of things..... dats y 'm afraid i will be tired of all this easily... each time he does something or says something dat pierce thru my heart..i wuld bear a small grudge... hope it doesnt grow really big... coz now its oredi accumulating le.... dunno when is de limit.....
6/6/04 is de date where everything went dwn...dat is de date where i felt de love haf depleted... he doesnt care anymore..its all abt himself now..... i now he has dreams to fullfill...maybe i'm juz not in it.... u cant haf de best of both worlds... Best dancer...... gf...... i think....he cant fit both into his life... maybe one day..i'll be pushed out totally...de process has oredi started.....
A FEW MeanIngFul QuoTES~~~
"love each other or perish" Without love, we are birds with broken wings.
"Friends care for u, but its not the same as having someone who will not leave. It's not the same as havin someone whom u know has an eye on you, is watching u the whole time."
"This is part of what a relationship is about, not juz love, but letting others know there's someone who is watching out for them."
"IF You are trying to show off for people at de top, FORGET it. They will look down at you anyhow. And if you're trying to show off for people at the bottom, FORGET it. They will only envy u. STatus will get u no where. Only an open Hear will allow u to flost equally between everyone."
Saturday, July 02, 2005Y
9:05 AM
too long nv blog le..coz juz got new comp.. yup! hmm...so much has happened dis few day.... feeling really down..... firstly.. my 2 good frens juz decided dat we cant be frens anymore...... hai...and both of dem told me dat on de same day... suay rite? and they are not eveen related.... hai...den secondly.... sk...he's been busy... i really need him but he aint dere.... so dat day after scratch prac..i rushed down to youth park..hoping he could spend some time with me after his prac.... wen i got there, he was practising..so i watched from a far (opposite de road to be exact) ..den we they all are sitting down i faster crossed de road tot he was rdy to go...who noes/..dey sat dere for quite long...so i continue waiting...den dey started to dance again...so i crossed back to the other side...dis happened a few times...haha...ppl think i siao...crossing so many times... den after 2 hours of this...i tot they were finally done...it was ard 11pm plus...dey all were sitting dwn..and was watching videos on sk's comp..hai...i really couldnt wait le... so i faster booked a cab home...$10.50... after all dat waiting i still din get to tok to him... well any way....at least i saw his whole dance..coz i cant go dwn and support him de next dat.... dats de third thing i'm upset abt..... i dun think he will eva appreciate de stuff i do ba...i dun really expect something in return... but sometimes..all i wan is maybe some concern..and not to b ignored... especially in front of his frens...he'll faster let go of my hands wen his popular frens are in around....maybe i'm juz some piece of shit dat will embarasse him ba....
todae...after performance i wanted to say good bye to him b4 i leave for home...but..he was reluctunt..had to ask him to come away from his frens and come to at least give me a hug goodbye... den wen he was approaching me...he walked straight for de rest of de nra first...den last of all wen dey walked almost away..den he came to say bye to me...hai.... den wanted to drag ariel b4 i went home to find for him..but den i stopped my self.. haha...
i took 162 home my self...was listening to guang liang's album... den all de memories started flowing back to me... tears filled up my eyes...den i faster tot to myself...its not worth it to cry over a guy who makes u cry....so i faster took y book of life out...and started to read...with de music...de sad story abt this dying man...de tears juz flowed out...lucky i was wearin my cap...or else de lady sitting nxt to me wuld have tot i'm some crazy freak..i faster wipe it off wif my finger casually... haha..
i tot dat if i reacdh home everything will be fine...and wuldnt think so much..but wen i reached home...mom kept nagging and scolding....she threatened also...
sad...i'm not only feeling like a prisoner in my own home..but prisoner to my comp too...she wuldnt even let me play awhile...and its not even 11pm yet... she juz said "GO TO UR ROOM AND STUDY" freak!! i haven even start school u noe@@@...and i need to study?!?!?!?! hai..i dunno la...wishing someone could understand wad i'm goin thru...
sk juz called....he won first!! i'm really happie for him...but at de same time...i'm really in a depression mode....my voice sounded sianz.. but i really juz cant bring my self to even force a smile....or my happie voice.. i hope he wuldnt think i'm not happie wif him winning and making more neew frens...
but actually i'm also kinda scared...wif more new frens...my place in his piority list juz becomes further from first le... hai....
Finally...i'm really happie for ariel...At least everything is working out fine oredi!! and for sam...hai..hope she dun over pressurise herself....sadz to see her always so sad...i dun even noe how to comfort her...sobz,,,
i wish.....everything for me wuld turn out fine too.... :)
***Sometimes u cannot believe wad u see, you have to believe what you feel. And if you are ever going to have other people trust you, you must feel that you can trust them too---even when u're in the dark. Even when you're falling......***