PLEASE READ THESE TERMS: Saturday, July 02, 2005Y
9:05 AM
too long nv blog le..coz juz got new comp.. yup! hmm...so much has happened dis few day.... feeling really down..... firstly.. my 2 good frens juz decided dat we cant be frens anymore...... hai...and both of dem told me dat on de same day... suay rite? and they are not eveen related.... hai...den secondly.... sk...he's been busy... i really need him but he aint dere.... so dat day after scratch prac..i rushed down to youth park..hoping he could spend some time with me after his prac.... wen i got there, he was practising..so i watched from a far (opposite de road to be exact) ..den we they all are sitting down i faster crossed de road tot he was rdy to go...who noes/..dey sat dere for quite long...so i continue waiting...den dey started to dance again...so i crossed back to the other side...dis happened a few times...haha...ppl think i siao...crossing so many times... den after 2 hours of this...i tot they were finally done...it was ard 11pm plus...dey all were sitting dwn..and was watching videos on sk's comp..hai...i really couldnt wait le... so i faster booked a cab home...$10.50... after all dat waiting i still din get to tok to him... well any way....at least i saw his whole dance..coz i cant go dwn and support him de next dat.... dats de third thing i'm upset abt..... i dun think he will eva appreciate de stuff i do ba...i dun really expect something in return... but sometimes..all i wan is maybe some concern..and not to b ignored... especially in front of his frens...he'll faster let go of my hands wen his popular frens are in around....maybe i'm juz some piece of shit dat will embarasse him ba....
todae...after performance i wanted to say good bye to him b4 i leave for home...but..he was reluctunt..had to ask him to come away from his frens and come to at least give me a hug goodbye... den wen he was approaching me...he walked straight for de rest of de nra first...den last of all wen dey walked almost away..den he came to say bye to me...hai.... den wanted to drag ariel b4 i went home to find for him..but den i stopped my self.. haha...
i took 162 home my self...was listening to guang liang's album... den all de memories started flowing back to me... tears filled up my eyes...den i faster tot to myself...its not worth it to cry over a guy who makes u cry....so i faster took y book of life out...and started to read...with de music...de sad story abt this dying man...de tears juz flowed out...lucky i was wearin my cap...or else de lady sitting nxt to me wuld have tot i'm some crazy freak..i faster wipe it off wif my finger casually... haha..
i tot dat if i reacdh home everything will be fine...and wuldnt think so much..but wen i reached home...mom kept nagging and scolding....she threatened also...
sad...i'm not only feeling like a prisoner in my own home..but prisoner to my comp too...she wuldnt even let me play awhile...and its not even 11pm yet... she juz said "GO TO UR ROOM AND STUDY" freak!! i haven even start school u noe@@@...and i need to study?!?!?!?! hai..i dunno la...wishing someone could understand wad i'm goin thru...
sk juz called....he won first!! i'm really happie for him...but at de same time...i'm really in a depression mode....my voice sounded sianz.. but i really juz cant bring my self to even force a smile....or my happie voice.. i hope he wuldnt think i'm not happie wif him winning and making more neew frens...
but actually i'm also kinda scared...wif more new frens...my place in his piority list juz becomes further from first le... hai....
Finally...i'm really happie for ariel...At least everything is working out fine oredi!! and for sam...hai..hope she dun over pressurise herself....sadz to see her always so sad...i dun even noe how to comfort her...sobz,,,
i wish.....everything for me wuld turn out fine too.... :)
***Sometimes u cannot believe wad u see, you have to believe what you feel. And if you are ever going to have other people trust you, you must feel that you can trust them too---even when u're in the dark. Even when you're falling......***
